I don't see Jay anymore so I don't know what about Linda he misses. The hardest thing for him to love was her thighs. They are thick and veiny with stretch marks and small hay colored hairs where she doesn't shave. When they were watching TV together he'd put a pillow over them. And when, not long after Linda's hair had been braided, they started loving each other, Jay didn't really put his hands on her thighs. When they were done the mattress was littered with aluminum foil pieces and they fell asleep holding one another, probably thinking they'd found heaven. But looking at her untouched thighs I knew no one in the apartment would ever know where you go when you die. The longing that comes with having a memory poured into me like water. I was jealous of Sigfreid and alone in the tank. I hated Jay for not seeing the splendor of her thighs and I hated her for having ugly thighs and this hate made my love for them stranger and stronger that it was before. And this changed love saved me from my loneliness and made me glad I wasn't dead.